When you tried every method in the books, every technique you know to keep the one true love, and he/she still walks away. How do you accept this and heal???
I may not know it all, but these are a few tips I’ve used to survive the insanity called Heartbreak:
• When another person makes it clear they don’t want to be with you don’t consider it your loss; that’s looking at the wrong side of the kiss, rather see it as their loss and not yours, it helps you maintain your confidence. Too often we focus on what we’re missing. But the one who walked away also misses out on something. You. That’s their mistake. Feel bad for them. Pity their loss. If you can see it that way you keep your value and maintain your confidence. Just because they don’t want you doesn’t mean you’re unworthy or unlovable.
• Try to stay calm, Be cool like Fonzi. You know how The Fonz never acted emotionally stupid? He was unflappable. You have to be cool with what’s happened. This will feel impossible. But if you remember it’s his/her loss, it gets easier with each passing day. So during those times when you want to send them a text message, or “like” a Facebook status update, or you want to retweet something they posted, or maybe even call them up and “just check in,” all of these would be motivated by the idea they’ll see how funny/compatible/perfect for each other you are… so just don’t. Remind yourself. ABC. Always Be Cool. Fonzi wouldn’t drunk text someone. He knows it’s their loss. And that’s your new job. Keep your cool.
• Give yourself time to heal. Now, unlike an imaginary character like The Fonz, you’ll have moments of weakness, moments of sadness, moments when tears wet your cheeks and there’s not much you can do to stop them. Don’t even try. There’s nothing wrong with crying, there’s nothing wrong with being sad. The only danger is when you let those feelings linger too long. Give yourself moments, days, maybe even weeks of sadness. But eventually, if you continue to dwell on your sadness, you’re just feeling sorry for yourself. And if you need some perspective take a trip down to any burn center or trauma unit whenever you want or need an undeniable reminder of why you shouldn’t feel sorry for yourself.
• Occupy your time. When trying to move on, the best thing to do is distract yourself. Visit people who do care about you. Spend time with folks who bring you joy. Take up a new hobby. Find a new passion. Try something you’ve always been curious about but have yet to ever do. If you have the time and money, travel. If you don’t have the time and money, then let literature and films carry you away; but don’t go reading/watching love stories/movies. Instead watch things that make you laugh. Treat comedy like medicine and when the blues pay you a visit, let laughter be your antidote. Watch old favorites and seek out new funny films as well. The key is not to dwell on you, your past, or your lost future. Distract yourself with positivity. Laughter, like truth, will set you free.
• Live your life. Quit having the thoughts of another chance and give up the idea that things might work out, eventually. Yes, none of us knows what will happen in the future. But that doesn’t mean you should use that as an argument to hold out hope. Maybe the one who got away will realize what they’re missing and come back, but don’t hang on to such a silly life preserver of hope. Start swimming. Focus on right now. They’re gone. So act like they’re gone and don’t wait for them to come back. If for some reason they do come back, let it be a pleasant surprise. In the meantime, live your life!!!
• Find inner strength in your loss. You may feel pathetic or pitiful, that you’re obviously an unlovable loser. But you’re not. You’re just unlucky. Don’t be embarrassed because you put your heart out there and someone else said, “No thanks.” Be proud you were willing to love. There are far too many people in this world who will never be as brave as you were. And those people have almost zero chance of ever knowing love because they’re not trying and failing. You may have failed this time, but anyone who’s ever wanted anything in this world most likely had their share of disappointments and setbacks. So be proud you risked your heart. And get ready to do it again… that’s the only way you’ll find real and lasting love. Don’t shut your heart off from the world, in the hopes that it never gets broken again, Just be proud of yourself and keep trying. Love is worth a little pain along the way.
• Learn to Move on. Take a piece of advice from Hollywood. William Goldman, the screenwriter of “The Princess Bride” and a number of other great movies, is often quoted for saying a great truth about Hollywood, but it applies to life in general. “Nobody Knows Anything.” These three little words hold so much wisdom. And you, my friend, may think you know how things will turn out, or what to expect in your future, or that you know what you’ve learned from your past, but then one little event occurs or a realization surfaces that proves everything you thought you knew is wrong. Have faith in the great weirdness of life and trust your future will surprise you. Let the promise of that premise help you to move on. Don’t wait for the future to happen. You still have to get out there and do things to find the love and happiness you deserve. But trust that you never know what tomorrow holds in its hands. And move with eager and open eyes towards the rising sun of a new dawn and perhaps, you’ll get lucky. The future will always surprise you. Sometimes, it’s shitty and you’ll find heartbreak waiting around the bend. Other times, the surprise is more wonderful than you could have designed it.
Bet on the great weirdness of life and Just stay open to love!!!